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Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life

characters Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life Susan Forward Í 4 Summary Read ☆ PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook Í Susan Forward Adly I figured I was badThere are two central doctrines in this faith of godlike parents I am bad and my parents are goodI am weak and my parents are strongThese are powerful beliefs that can long outlive your physical dependence on your parents These beliefs keep the faith alive they allow you to avoid facing the painful truth that your godlike parents actually betrayed you when you were most vulnerableYour first step toward controlling your life is to face that truth for yourself It will take courage but if you re reading this book you ve already made a commitment to change That took courage tooThey Never Let Me Forget How I Disgraced ThemSandy a striking brunette who seemed to have it all was seriously depressed when she first came to see me She told me that she was unhappy with everything in her life She had been a floral designer for several years at a prestigious shop She had always dreamed of opening her own business but she was convinced that she wasn t smart enough to succeed She was terrified of failureSandy had also been trying to get pregnant forthan two years with no success As we talked I began to see that her inability to get pregnant was causing her to feel strong resentment toward her husband and inadeuate in their relationship despite the fact that he sounded genuinely understanding and loving A recent conversation with her mother had aggravated the issue This whole pregnancy has become a real obsession with me When I had lunch with my mom I told her how disappointed I was She said to me I ll bet it s that abortion you had The Lord works in mysterious ways I haven t been able to stop crying since She never lets me forgetI asked her about the abortion After some initial hesitancy she told me the story It happened when I was in high school My parents were very very strict Catholics so I went to parochial school I developed early and by the time I was twelve I was five foot six weighed one hundred thirty pounds and wore a C bra Boys started paying attention to me and I really liked it It drove my dad crazy The first time he caught me kissing a boy good night he called me a whore so loud that the whole neighborhood heard It was downhill from there Every time I went out with a boy Dad told me I was going to hell He never let up I figured I was damned anyway so when I was fifteen I slept with this guy Just my luck I got pregnant When my folks found out they went nuts Then I told them I wanted an abortion they totally lost it They must have screamed at me about mortal sin a thousand times If I wasn t going to hell already they were sure this would clinch it The only way I could get them to sign a consent was to threaten to kill myselfI asked Sandy how things went for her after the abortion She slumped down in her chair with a dejected look that made my heart acheTalk about a fall from grace I mean Dad made me feel horrible enough before but now I felt like I didn t even have a right to exist Theashamed I felt the harder I tried to make things right I just wanted to turn back the clock get back the love I had when I was little But they never miss a chance to bring it up They re like a broken record about what I did and how I disgraced them I can t blame them I should ve never done what I did I mean they had such high moral expectations for me Now I just want to make it up to them for hurting them so bad with my sins So I do anything they want me to do It drives my husband crazy He and I get in these huge fights about it But I can t help it I just want them to forgive meAs I listened to this lovely young woman I was very touched by the suffering her parents behavior had caused her and by how much she needed to deny their responsibility for that suffering She seemed almost desperate to convince me that she was to blame for all that happened to her Sandy s self blame was compounded by her parents unyielding religious beliefs I knew I had my work cut out for me if Sandy was to see how genuinely cruel and emotionally abusive her parents had been to her I decided this was not a time to be nonjudgmentalSusan You know something I m really angry for that young girl I think your parents were awful to you I think they misused your religion to punish you I don t think you deserved any of itSandy I committed two mortal sins Susan Look you were just a kid Maybe you made some mistakes but you don t have to keep paying for them forever Even the Church lets you atone and get on with your life If your parents were as good as you say they are they would have shown some compassion for youSandy They were trying to save my soul If they didn t love me so much they wouldn t careSusan Let s look at this from a different perspective What if you hadn t. Exploration du temple maçonnique à la lumière de la kabbale (FM-Pierres vivantes) this faith of godlike parents I am bad and my parents are goodI am weak and my parents are strongThese are powerful beliefs Les hauts grades maçonniques : Le maitre secret, ses prolongements : Tome 3, Du maître parfait à l'intendant des bâtiments that can long outlive your physical dependence on your parents These beliefs keep Morales & Dogme - Tome 2 - du 19e au 32e degré the faith alive La clé d'Hiram : Les pharaons , les francs-maçons et la découverte des manuscrits secrets de Jésus they allow you N.47 Le maitre secret T2 (Symboles Maçonnique) (French Edition) to avoid facing Origines et fondement spirituels et sociologiques de la maçonnerie écossaise (FM-Pierres vivantes) the painful PEUT ON ETRE CHRETIEN ET FRANC MACON truth Moi, franc maçonne (French Edition) that your godlike parents actually betrayed you when you were most vulnerableYour first step Dictionnaire des symboles maçonniques toward controlling your life is Le Compagnonnage to face La pierre cubique à pointe (Symboles Maçonnique) that De la liberté de l'esprit : De l'amour au nec plus ultra. truth for yourself It will Les Templiers, Histoire des Origines aux Germes de 1307 - Tome I take courage but if you re reading La symbolique du vénérable maître this book you ve already made a commitment Le cabinet de réflexion to change That Le grade de compagnon et sa symbolique N.92 (Symboles Maçonnique: Les Symboles maçonniques) (French Edition) took courage La clef écossaise (Pierre d'angle: Une enquête sur les vraies origines de la franc-maçonnerie) (French Edition) tooThey Never Let Me Forget How I Disgraced ThemSandy a striking brunette who seemed La Première Lettre : L'Apprenti au Rite Ecossais Ancien et Accepté to have it all was seriously depressed when she first came Nouvelle histoire des francs-maçons en France : Des origines à nos jours to see me She L'épreuve de l'air told me Comment être un orateur efficace ? that she was unhappy with everything in her life She had been a floral designer for several years at a prestigious shop She had always dreamed of opening her own business but she was convinced La Bhagavad-Gîtâ that she wasn La Transformation intérieure t smart enough Psychologie du yoga de la Kundalinî to succeed She was La Tranformation intérieure terrified of failureSandy had also been Autobiographie d'un yogi trying Le Râmâyana : Conté selon la tradition orale to get pregnant forthan Je suis two years with no success As we La Vie est une célébration. Conseils d'Amma pour la vie quotidienne talked I began Hatha-yoga pradîpikã : Un traité de hatha yoga to see Le Yoga tantrique : Sa métaphysique, ses pratiques that her inability Le Livre des Secrets to get pregnant was causing her La science sacrée to feel strong resentment Yoga-nidra : 108 pratiques à conjuguer pour s'éveiller à l'infini toward her husband and inadeuate in Aux sources de la joie their relationship despite La voie de la paix intérieure : Voyage vers la plénitude et la lumière the fact L'enseignement de Mâ Ananda Moyî that he sounded genuinely understanding and loving A recent conversation with her mother had aggravated L'Enseignement de Râmakrishna the issue This whole pregnancy has become a real obsession with me When I had lunch with my mom I La Bhagavad-Gîtâ traduite et commentée par Gandhi (French Edition) told her how disappointed I was She said Yoga-Nidra et rêve éveillé to me I ll bet it s Esprit Du Yoga (L') (Spiritualites Grand Format) (French Edition) that abortion you had The Lord works in mysterious ways I haven Tales from 1, 001 Nights: Aladdin, Ali Baba and Other Favourites t been able The Inner Tradition of Yoga: A Guide to Yoga Philosophy for the Contemporary Practitioner to stop crying since She never lets me forgetI asked her about La Bhagavadgita the abortion After some initial hesitancy she L'hindouisme : Anthropologie d'une civilisation told me Vers la méditation: Retrouvez l'équilibre,la sérénité et l'énergie dans votre vie quotidienne the story It happened when I was in high school My parents were very very strict Catholics so I went Immortelle conscience to parochial school I developed early and by Yogasûtra (Spiritualités pratiques) (French Edition) the Autobiographie d'un Yogi time I was Le temps aboli (Essais) (French Edition) twelve I was five foot six weighed one hundred Awakening Shakti: The Transformative Power of the Goddesses of Yoga to me and I really liked it It drove my dad crazy The first The Bhagavad Gita, 2nd Edition time he caught me kissing a boy good night he called me a whore so loud When Love Comes to Light: Bringing Wisdom from the Bhagavad Gita to Modern Life that A la recherche du soi (2) there Every Pranayama Dipika, lumière sur le Pranayama (ESS DOC SCI HU) (French Edition) time I went out with a boy Dad The Divine Matrix: Bridging Time, Space, Miracles, and Belief told me I was going La vie de Ramakrishna : Essai sur la mystique et l'action de l'Inde vivante to hell He never let up I figured I was damned anyway so when I was fifteen I slept with Bhagavad-Gita As It Is (Paperback) this guy Just my luck I got pregnant When my folks found out Light on Yoga: The Bible of Modern Yoga they went nuts Then I L'arbre du yoga told Le chien tête en bas 45 histoires d'asanas them I wanted an abortion Le tantra de la reconnaissance de soi - Le vijnâna bhairava et autres manuels de méditation they L'esprit de création - La libération par l'action (French Edition) totally lost it They must have screamed at me about mortal sin a De l'autre côté du désespoir : Introduction a la pensée de svami Prajnanpad thousand The Book of Secrets: 112 Meditations to Discover the Mystery Within times If I wasn A la recherche du soi (1) t going Lumiere sur les Yoga Sutra de Patanjali to hell already Tout est en vous. Paroles d'Amma they were sure L'audace de vivre this would clinch it The only way I could get Asana Pranayama Mudra Bandha/2008 Fourth Revised Edition them Le Mahâbhârata : Conté selon la tradition orale to sign a consent was L'ultime guérison to La baghavad gita threaten Yoga-Sutra de Patanjali - Miroir de soi to kill myselfI asked Sandy how Bhagavad-Gita - L'essence du Yoga things went for her after Il ne s'est jamais rien passé the abortion She slumped down in her chair with a dejected look L'éveil du corps sacré : Yoga tibétain de la respiration et du mouvement ([DVD] inclus) that made my heart acheTalk about a fall from grace I mean Dad made me feel horrible enough before but now I felt like I didn Conscience et Absolu t even have a right Light on the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali to exist Theashamed I felt Magia sexualis the harder I Astavakra Gîtâ: suivi de Avadhuta Gîtâ (Mystères de l'Inde) (French Edition) tried Les maîtres des Upanishads (inédit). La sagesse qui libère to make Yogabhasya de vyasa sur le Yoga Sutra things right I just wanted Dieux de l'Inde - Images et signes to Pour une mort sans peur (Evol - spiritualité/philosophie) (French Edition) turn back Les racines du yoga (French Edition) the clock get back Un feu au cœur du vent: Trésor de la poésie indienne, des Védas à Lokenath Bhattacharya the love I had when I was little But The Oxford History of Hinduism: Hindu Practice they never miss a chance Kriya Yoga : La voie spirituelle originelle et authentique transmise par mes Maîtres réalisés : Babaji, Lahiri Mahasaya, Shriyukteshwarji et Paramahamsa Hariharananda to bring it up They re like a broken record about what I did and how I disgraced Shankara et la non-dualité (French Edition) them I can Introduction générale à l'étude des doctrines hindoues t blame Joyau des tantras (Mystique religion (myst rel)) them I should ve never done what I did I mean Chakras: Energy Centers of Transformation they had such high moral expectations for me Now I just want Mindfulness in Plain English to make it up Sâdhanâ to De l'unité transcendante des religions them for hurting Sakti Sutra - Les aphorismes sur l'énergie d'Agastya (Textes sacrés) (French Edition) them so bad with my sins So I do anything La Bhagavad Gitâ eBook: Shri Aurobindo, Jean Herbert, Camille Rao: Amazon.fr: Amazon Media EUS.à r.l. they want me Le YOGA TIBÉTAIN et les Doctrines Secrètes ou les Sept Livres de la Sagesse du Grand Sentier suivant (French Edition) to do It drives my husband crazy He and I get in A la recherche du soi (3) these huge fights about it But I can The Journey Home: Autobiography of an American Swami t help it I just want Les 108 upanishads them Le Souffle du maître to forgive meAs I listened The Necronomicon to Toward a Psychology of Awakening: Buddhism, Psychotherapy, and the Path of Personal and Spiritual Transformation this lovely young woman I was very Petit traité d'histoire des religions touched by Conscience contre violence the suffering her parents behavior had caused her and by how much she needed Juifs d'ailleurs: Diasporas oubliées, identités singulières to deny Occident et Islam : Sources et genèse messianiques du sionisme ; De l'Europe médiévale au Choc des civilisations their responsibility for Les religions, la parole et la violence that suffering She seemed almost desperate Histoire des croyances et des idées religieuses : Volume 1, De l'âge de pierre aux Mystères d'Eleusis to convince me histoire des croyances et des idees religieuses 2 (PAYOT) that she was Histoire des croyances et des idées religieuses : Volume 3, De Mahomet à l'âge des réformes to blame for all Comment Jésus est devenu Dieu that happened Au commencement était le verbe to her Sandy s self blame was compounded by her parents unyielding religious beliefs I knew I had my work cut out for me if Sandy was Les Grandes religions Pour les Nuls (French Edition) to see how genuinely cruel and emotionally abusive her parents had been La religion française to her I decided Coffret this was not a Truman – Un chrétien à la Maison Blanche (PETITS CERF HISTOIRE) (French Edition) time Les persécutions des chrétiens durant les quatre premiers siècles (Bibliothèque d'histoire du christianisme) (French Edition) to be nonjudgmentalSusan You know something I m really angry for Coffret Le Coran des historiens that young girl I Christianisme et révolution : cinq leçons d'histoire de la révolution française think your parents were awful L'Évangile Selon la Compagne Bien-Aimée: L'Évangile Intégral de Marie-Madeleine to you I La violence monothéiste think Les Religions, la Parole et la Violence (OJ.SC.HUMAINES) (French Edition) they misused your religion Occident et Islam - Tome II to punish you I don La naissance du christianisme: Comment tout a commencé t La Bible, le Coran et la science think you deserved any of itSandy I committed Histoire de la conquête de l'Espagne par les Musulmans two mortal sins Susan Look you were just a kid Maybe you made some mistakes but you don Récits d'un pèlerin russe t have Que vivent-ils ? Juifs - Chrétiens - Musulmans: Livre jeune (Documents) (French Edition) to keep paying for J'Suites. Une Multibiographie. Les Conqu'rants T1 (Points histoire) (English and French Edition) them forever Even J'Suites. Une Multibiographie 2. Les Revenants T2 (Points histoire) (English and French Edition) the Church lets you atone and get on with your life If your parents were as good as you say Protestants dans la France en guerre, 1939-1945 dictionnaire thématique et biographique: DICTIONNAIRE THEMATIQUE ET BIOGRAPHIQUE (BIBLIOTHÈQUE PROTESTANTE) they are Les Gnostiques they would have shown some compassion for youSandy They were Suis-je le gardien de mon frère ? (Grand débats : Mode d'emploi) (French Edition) trying Discours ascétiques to save my soul If Attendre la fin du monde au XVIIe siècle - le messie juif et le grand drogman (TEXTES, DOCUMEN) they didn Décadence. Naissance du christianisme 1.1: Brève encyclopédie du monde 5.1 t love me so much Histoire de la papauté they wouldn Histoire religieuse des Etats-Unis t careSusan Let s look at Babylone Et La Bible Entretien Avec H. Monsacre (Entretiens) (French Edition) this from a different perspective What if you hadn Le christianisme en procès - Lumière sur 2000 ans d'histoire et de controverses t.

Read ☆ PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook Í Susan Forward

characters Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life Susan Forward Í 4 Summary Read ☆ PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook Í Susan Forward Godlike ParentsThe Myth of the Perfect ParentThe ancient Greeks had a problem The gods looked down from their ethereal playground atop Mount Olympus and passed judgment on everything the Greeks were up to And if the gods weren t pleased they were swift to punish They didn t have to be kind they didn t have to be just they didn t even have to be right In fact they could be downright irrational At their whim they could turn you into an echo or make you push a boulder uphill for all eternity Needless to say the unpredictability of these powerful gods sowed uite a bit of fear and confusion among their mortal followersNot unlike many toxic parent child relationships An unpredictable parent is a fearsome god in the eyes of a childWhen we re very young our godlike parents are everything to us Without them we would be unloved unprotected unhoused and unfed living in a constant state of terror knowing we were unable to survive alone They are our all powerful providers We need they supplyWith nothing and no one to judge them against we assume them to be perfect parents As our world broadens beyond our crib we develop a need to maintain this image of perfection as a defense against the great unknowns we increasingly encounter As long as we believe our parents are perfect we feel protectedIn our second and third years of life we begin to assert our independence We resist toilet training and revel in our terrible twos We embrace the word no because it allows us to exercise some control over our lives whereas yes is simply an acuiescence We struggle to develop a uniue identity establish our own willThe process of separating from parents reaches its peak during puberty and adolescence when we actively confront parental values tastes and authority In a reasonably stable family parents are able to withstand much of the anxiety that these changes create For the most part they will attempt to tolerate if not exactly encourage their child s emerging independence The expression it s just a phase becomes a standard assurance for understanding parents who remember their own teenage years and appreciate rebellion as a normal stage of emotional developmentToxic parents aren t so understanding From toilet training through adolescence they tend to see rebellion or even individual differences as a personal attack They defend themselves by reinforcing their child s dependence and helplessness Instead of promoting healthy development they unconsciously undermine it often with the belief that they are acting in their child s best interest They may use phrases such as it builds character or she needs to learn right from wrong but their arsenals of negativity really harm their child s self esteem sabotaging any budding independence No matter how much these parents believe they re right such assaults are confusing to a child bewildering in their animosity their vehemence and their suddennessOur culture and our religions are almost unanimous in upholding the omnipotence of parental authority It s acceptable to express anger at our husbands wives lovers siblings bosses and friends but it s almost taboo to assertively confront our parents How often have we heard the phrases don t talk back to your mother or don t you dare shout at your father The Judeo Christian tradition enshrines the taboo in our collective unconscious by pronouncing God the Father and directing us to honor thy father and mother The idea finds voices in our schools our churches our government a return to family values even in our corporations According to the conventional wisdom our parents are empowered to control us simply because they gave us lifeThe child is at the mercy of his godlike parents and like the ancient Greeks never knows when the next lightning bolt will strike But the child of toxic parents knows that the lightning is coming sooner or later This fear becomes deeply ingrained and grows with the child At the core of every formerly mistreated adult even high achievers is a little child who feels powerless and afraidThe Cost of Appeasing the GodsAs a child s self esteem is undermined his dependence grows and with it his need to believe that his parents are there to protect and provide The only way emotional assaults or physical abuse can make sense to a child is if he or she accepts responsibility for the toxic parent s behaviorNo matter how toxic your parents might be you still have a need to deify them Even if you understand on one level that your father was wrong to beat you you may still believe he was justified Intellectual understanding is not enough to convince your emotions that you were not responsibleAs one of my clients put it I thought they were perfect so when they treated me b. Livre jaune N° 2 - La guerre des francs-maçons the Perfect ParentThe ancient Greeks had a problem The gods looked down from La franc-maçonnerie pour les Nuls en 50 notions clés their ethereal playground atop Mount Olympus and passed judgment on everything Le nombre d'or : Ou La Science secrète des bâtisseurs the Greeks were up Le Livre de la franc-maçonnerie to And if Le grade de maître et sa symbolique N.93 (Symboles Maçonnique) (French Edition) the gods weren Secret maçonnique ou vérité catholique: Ce que j'ai découvert dans l'ombre des loges t pleased La Maîtrise parfaite : Etude des degrés de Perfection du Rite Ecossais Ancien et Accepté they were swift Vadémécum du compagnon (FM-Petite bibliothèque FM) (French Edition) to punish They didn Le maître secret : Tome 2, L'élévation au 4e degré t have Second surveillant : Comment faire avec les Apprentis ? to be kind La Franc-maçonnerie clarifiée pour ses initiés : Tome 3 - Le maitre they didn Un outil maçonnique méconnu : La jauge (Symboles Maçonnique) t have La franc-maçonnerie clarifiée pour ses initiés : Tome 2, Le Compagnon to be just Symboles maçonniques, symboles templiers they didn N.6 L'équerre et le chemin de rectitude (Symboles Maçonnique) (French Edition) t even have Le silence des apprentis to be right In fact Manuel maçonnique ou Tuileur de Vuillaume they could be downright irrational At Causeries initiatiques pour le travail en loge d'apprentis, tome I : L'Apprenti their whim N 87 le Symbole de l'Abeille they could Les trois fenêtres du tableau de loge (Symboles Maçonnique) turn you into an echo or make you push a boulder uphill for all eternity Needless Le symbolisme de l'épée (Symboles Maçonnique) to say Martines de Pasqually (FM-Divers et hors collection) the unpredictability of Progression initiatique à travers les 33 degrés du Rite Ecossais Ancien et Accepté these powerful gods sowed uite a bit of fear and confusion among Martinès de Pasqually et Jean-Baptiste Willermoz - Vie, doctrine et pratiques théurgiques de l'Ordre des Chevaliers Maçons (French Edition) their mortal followersNot unlike many Pythagore et l'initiation maçonnique toxic parent child relationships An unpredictable parent is a fearsome god in Des Templiers aux francs-maçons the eyes of a childWhen we re very young our godlike parents are everything Le maître maçon et la mort symbolique (Franc-Maçonnerie initiatique) to us Without Les 33 marches maçonniques - Une Echelle de Jacob them we would be unloved unprotected unhoused and unfed living in a constant state of Le grade de Compagnon au Rite Ecossais Rectifié : Sa nature et son ésotérisme terror knowing we were unable Le temple maçonnique et ses mystères (Symboles Maçonnique) to survive alone They are our all powerful providers We need La franc-maçonnerie rendue intelligible à ses adeptes : Tome 3 : Le Maître they supplyWith nothing and no one Tarot et franc-maçonnerie to judge 3 minutes pour comprendre les 50 faits marquants de la franc-maçonnerie them against we assume Exploration du temple maçonnique à la lumière de la kabbale (FM-Pierres vivantes) to be perfect parents As our world broadens beyond our crib we develop a need Les hauts grades maçonniques : Le maitre secret, ses prolongements : Tome 3, Du maître parfait à l'intendant des bâtiments to maintain Morales & Dogme - Tome 2 - du 19e au 32e degré this image of perfection as a defense against La clé d'Hiram : Les pharaons , les francs-maçons et la découverte des manuscrits secrets de Jésus the great unknowns we increasingly encounter As long as we believe our parents are perfect we feel protectedIn our second and N.47 Le maitre secret T2 (Symboles Maçonnique) (French Edition) third years of life we begin Origines et fondement spirituels et sociologiques de la maçonnerie écossaise (FM-Pierres vivantes) to assert our independence We resist PEUT ON ETRE CHRETIEN ET FRANC MACON toilet Moi, franc maçonne (French Edition) training and revel in our Dictionnaire des symboles maçonniques terrible Le Compagnonnage twos We embrace La pierre cubique à pointe (Symboles Maçonnique) the word no because it allows us De la liberté de l'esprit : De l'amour au nec plus ultra. to exercise some control over our lives whereas yes is simply an acuiescence We struggle Les Templiers, Histoire des Origines aux Germes de 1307 - Tome I to develop a uniue identity establish our own willThe process of separating from parents reaches its peak during puberty and adolescence when we actively confront parental values La symbolique du vénérable maître tastes and authority In a reasonably stable family parents are able Le cabinet de réflexion to withstand much of Le grade de compagnon et sa symbolique N.92 (Symboles Maçonnique: Les Symboles maçonniques) (French Edition) the anxiety La clef écossaise (Pierre d'angle: Une enquête sur les vraies origines de la franc-maçonnerie) (French Edition) that La Première Lettre : L'Apprenti au Rite Ecossais Ancien et Accepté these changes create For Nouvelle histoire des francs-maçons en France : Des origines à nos jours the most part L'épreuve de l'air they will attempt Comment être un orateur efficace ? to La Bhagavad-Gîtâ tolerate if not exactly encourage La Transformation intérieure their child s emerging independence The expression it s just a phase becomes a standard assurance for understanding parents who remember Psychologie du yoga de la Kundalinî their own La Tranformation intérieure teenage years and appreciate rebellion as a normal stage of emotional developmentToxic parents aren Autobiographie d'un yogi t so understanding From Le Râmâyana : Conté selon la tradition orale toilet Je suis training La Vie est une célébration. Conseils d'Amma pour la vie quotidienne through adolescence Hatha-yoga pradîpikã : Un traité de hatha yoga they Le Yoga tantrique : Sa métaphysique, ses pratiques tend Le Livre des Secrets to see rebellion or even individual differences as a personal attack They defend La science sacrée themselves by reinforcing Yoga-nidra : 108 pratiques à conjuguer pour s'éveiller à l'infini their child s dependence and helplessness Instead of promoting healthy development Aux sources de la joie they unconsciously undermine it often with La voie de la paix intérieure : Voyage vers la plénitude et la lumière the belief L'enseignement de Mâ Ananda Moyî that L'Enseignement de Râmakrishna they are acting in La Bhagavad-Gîtâ traduite et commentée par Gandhi (French Edition) their child s best interest They may use phrases such as it builds character or she needs Yoga-Nidra et rêve éveillé to learn right from wrong but Esprit Du Yoga (L') (Spiritualites Grand Format) (French Edition) their arsenals of negativity really harm Tales from 1, 001 Nights: Aladdin, Ali Baba and Other Favourites their child s self esteem sabotaging any budding independence No matter how much The Inner Tradition of Yoga: A Guide to Yoga Philosophy for the Contemporary Practitioner these parents believe La Bhagavadgita they re right such assaults are confusing L'hindouisme : Anthropologie d'une civilisation to a child bewildering in Vers la méditation: Retrouvez l'équilibre,la sérénité et l'énergie dans votre vie quotidienne their animosity Immortelle conscience their vehemence and Yogasûtra (Spiritualités pratiques) (French Edition) their suddennessOur culture and our religions are almost unanimous in upholding Autobiographie d'un Yogi the omnipotence of parental authority It s acceptable Le temps aboli (Essais) (French Edition) to express anger at our husbands wives lovers siblings bosses and friends but it s almost Awakening Shakti: The Transformative Power of the Goddesses of Yoga to assertively confront our parents How often have we heard The Bhagavad Gita, 2nd Edition the phrases don When Love Comes to Light: Bringing Wisdom from the Bhagavad Gita to Modern Life t A la recherche du soi (2) to your mother or don Pranayama Dipika, lumière sur le Pranayama (ESS DOC SCI HU) (French Edition) t you dare shout at your father The Judeo Christian The Divine Matrix: Bridging Time, Space, Miracles, and Belief tradition enshrines La vie de Ramakrishna : Essai sur la mystique et l'action de l'Inde vivante the Bhagavad-Gita As It Is (Paperback) taboo in our collective unconscious by pronouncing God Light on Yoga: The Bible of Modern Yoga the Father and directing us L'arbre du yoga to honor Le chien tête en bas 45 histoires d'asanas thy father and mother The idea finds voices in our schools our churches our government a return Le tantra de la reconnaissance de soi - Le vijnâna bhairava et autres manuels de méditation to family values even in our corporations According L'esprit de création - La libération par l'action (French Edition) to De l'autre côté du désespoir : Introduction a la pensée de svami Prajnanpad the conventional wisdom our parents are empowered The Book of Secrets: 112 Meditations to Discover the Mystery Within to control us simply because A la recherche du soi (1) they gave us lifeThe child is at Lumiere sur les Yoga Sutra de Patanjali the mercy of his godlike parents and like Tout est en vous. Paroles d'Amma the ancient Greeks never knows when L'audace de vivre the next lightning bolt will strike But Asana Pranayama Mudra Bandha/2008 Fourth Revised Edition the child of Le Mahâbhârata : Conté selon la tradition orale toxic parents knows L'ultime guérison that La baghavad gita the lightning is coming sooner or later This fear becomes deeply ingrained and grows with Yoga-Sutra de Patanjali - Miroir de soi the child At Bhagavad-Gita - L'essence du Yoga the core of every formerly mistreated adult even high achievers is a little child who feels powerless and afraidThe Cost of Appeasing Il ne s'est jamais rien passé the GodsAs a child s self esteem is undermined his dependence grows and with it his need L'éveil du corps sacré : Yoga tibétain de la respiration et du mouvement ([DVD] inclus) to believe Conscience et Absolu that his parents are Light on the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali there Magia sexualis to protect and provide The only way emotional assaults or physical abuse can make sense Astavakra Gîtâ: suivi de Avadhuta Gîtâ (Mystères de l'Inde) (French Edition) to a child is if he or she accepts responsibility for Les maîtres des Upanishads (inédit). La sagesse qui libère the Yogabhasya de vyasa sur le Yoga Sutra toxic parent s behaviorNo matter how Dieux de l'Inde - Images et signes toxic your parents might be you still have a need Pour une mort sans peur (Evol - spiritualité/philosophie) (French Edition) to deify Les racines du yoga (French Edition) them Even if you understand on one level Un feu au cœur du vent: Trésor de la poésie indienne, des Védas à Lokenath Bhattacharya that your father was wrong The Oxford History of Hinduism: Hindu Practice to beat you you may still believe he was justified Intellectual understanding is not enough Kriya Yoga : La voie spirituelle originelle et authentique transmise par mes Maîtres réalisés : Babaji, Lahiri Mahasaya, Shriyukteshwarji et Paramahamsa Hariharananda to convince your emotions Shankara et la non-dualité (French Edition) that you were not responsibleAs one of my clients put it I Introduction générale à l'étude des doctrines hindoues thought Joyau des tantras (Mystique religion (myst rel)) they were perfect so when Chakras: Energy Centers of Transformation they Mindfulness in Plain English treated me b.

Susan Forward Í 4 Summary

characters Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life Susan Forward Í 4 Summary Read ☆ PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook Í Susan Forward Had that abortion And you had a little girl She d be about sixteen now right Sandy nodded trying to figure out where I was headedSusan Suppose she got pregnant Would you treat her like your parents treated you Sandy Not in a million years Sandy realized the implications of what she d saidSusan You d beloving And your parents should have beenloving That s their failure not yoursSandy had spent half her life constructing an elaborate wall of defense Such defensive walls are all too common among adult children of toxic parents They can be made of a variety of psychological building blocks but the most common the primary material in Sandy s wall is a particularly obstinate brick called denialThe Power of DenialDenial is both the most primitive and the most powerful of psychological defenses It employs a make believe reality to minimize or even negate the impact of certain painful life experiences It even makes some of us forget what our parents did to us allowing us to keep them on their pedestalsThe relief provided by denial is temporary at best and the price for this relief is high Denial is the lid on our emotional pressure cooker the longer we leave it on thepressure we build up Sooner or later that pressure is bound to pop the lid and we have an emotional crisis When that happens we have to face the truths we ve been so desperately trying to avoid except now we ve got to face them during a period of extreme stress If we can deal with our denial up front we can avoid the crisis by opening the pressure valve and leting it out easilyUnfortunately your own denial is not the only denial you may have to contend with Your parents have denial systems of their own When you are struggling to reconstruct the truth of your past especially when that truth reflects poorly on them your parents may insist that it wasn t so bad it didn t happen that way or even that it didn t happen at all Such statements can frustrate your attempts to reconstruct your personal history leading you to uestion your own impressions and memories They undercut your confidence in your ability to perceive reality making it that much harder to rebuild your self esteemSandy s denial was so strong that not only couldn t she see her own reality she couldn t even acknowledge that there was another reality to see I empathized with her pain but I had to get her at least to consider the possibility that she had a false image of her parents I tried to be as nonthreatening as possible I respect the fact that you love your parents and that you believe they re good people I m sure they did some very good things for you when you were growing up But there s got to be a part of you that knows or at least senses that loving parents don t assault their child s dignity and self worth so relentlessly I don t want to pull you away from your parents or your religion You don t have to disown them or renounce the Church But a big part of lifting your depression may depend on giving up the fantasy that they re perfect They were cruel to you They hurt you Whatever you did you had already done No amount of haranguing from them was going to change that Can t you feel how deeply they hurt the sensitive young girl inside of you And how unnecessary it was Sandy s yes was barely audible I asked her if it scared her to think about it She just nodded unable to talk about the depth of her fear But she was brave enough to hang in thereThe Hopeless HopeAfter two months in therapy Sandy had made some progress but was still clinging to the myth of her perfect parents Until she shattered that myth she would continue to blame herself for all the unhappiness of her life I asked her to invite her parents to a therapy session I hoped that if I could get them to see how deeply their behavior had affected Sandy s life they might admit some of their responsibility making it easier for Sandy to begin repairing her negative self imageWe barely had time to get acuainted before her father blurted You don t know what a bad kid she was Doctor She went nuts over boys and kept leading them on All of her problems today are because of that damned abortionI could see tears well up in Sandy s eyes I rushed to defend herA dynamic powerful hard hitting book It offers tremendous hope as well as understanding It could truly be a lifesaver Abigail Van Buren Dear AbbyI consider Susan Forward to be among the foremost therapists of our age John Bradshaw author of Healing the Shame That Binds You and HomecomingBantam Books by Susan Forward Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them When Loving Hurts and You Dont Know WhyObsessive Love When It Hurts Too Much to Let GoToxic Parents Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life.

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  • Format Kindle
  • 320
  • Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
  • Susan Forward
  • Anglais
  • 24 September 2020
  • 9780553381405